&[ C H A S I N G C A R S ]

[>>[ N A T A S H A ] grey.]

Natasha had been in California for three days. Three. The first day she'd gotten here, she'd been a day late.. the funeral had already begun by the time she'd gotten to the cemetery. You should have seen the looks on their faces.. on Adonis', and Demetry's, and Nikkos' and Topher's.. and even Arissa's. It was so unexplainable.. like they'd completely expected it, you know? Like they'd known that she'd be late, and they hated her for it.. in a way, it made her thankful that she hadn't stayed in California with then four years ago. Would she have been treated the same way? They must have blamed her for this entire thing. For Mama Dot, in the state she'd been in.. for her death. Honestly, Natasha didn't even know how she died.. it must've had something to do with her paralysis, no? It was horrible to think of.. horrible to assume.

They didn't speak to her throughout the entire ceremony, and she didn't even bother to make eye contact. They were moving on.. she was moving on. The only time they ever spoke was when Demi confronted her towards the end, with a stack of papers.

The house was hers. They were moving back to Greece. They didn't want anything to do with this place anymore.

She didn't know what else to do but accept.

The second day was entirely spent in her hotel room.. she wouldn't move into the house for another week or so, until the agreement was settled and the Khaligaris' had all moved back to their homeland.. all of them but her. They didn't consider her a part of the Khaligaris family any more.. there wasn't much she could do about that but sit and mope around for the entire day.. that's what she did. She cried, watched some t.v., cried some more, sat outside, and I bet you can't guess what she did from then on.

Yep, you got it.

Today was a slightly better day. She woke up and readied herself for a day out on the town.. her job as an intern wouldn't begin for another day, so she might as well use up the time while she had it, no? And so, she went everywhere she possibly could.. down by the grocery store, over in the neighborhood she'd lived in when they'd first moved to California [they moved to a better neighborhood sometime while she was gone], just.. everywhere. She even recognized a few faces.. the people she'd hung around with when she'd been nothing but a rebellious teenager.

They hadn't changed a bit.

And now she was here. Was she boring or what? But there comes a time when any human being needs some peace and quiet.. that's why she was here. It was the quietest place she could find.

what have i done?
it's too late for that.
what have i become?
truth is nothing yet.
a simple mistake starts the hardest time,
i promise i'll do anything you ask
this time.

Her eyes were glued on the ground as she sat there, legs outstretched in front of her, leaning back on her palms. She had to figure out a way to.. well, she didn't know. To get over all of this, you know? The car trip here had been like some sort of therapy or something.. but the thing about therapy, is that you're only alright until it stops.

And then world starts turning again.

She missed Noah. And Abby, and Dorothea. And Matteo. All of whom died, someway or another, in thanks to her. They should just call her a serial killer for crying out loud.

Dangerous, that's what she was. A criminal.

An innocent, dangerous criminal.

[:: Drew Walker ::]

He'd had a long day, and even longer week, and the longest month imaginable since he'd arrived in California. His business success was incredible, but more work than he'd bargained for. Drew had thought it was all about coming down and getting ready to run and promote the infamous night club, but in actuality, he owned it and was permanently in charge of everything. The downfall of that though, was that he owed it to his cousin and could not fail. If he failed at making this club as successful and popular as Kevin's in New York city, then he felt he'd be letting down that portion of his family's name. It was a gift to begin with, a nicety passed between familial ties based on who he'd felt could handle it, and the question in everyone's mind was, could Drew handle it?

He'd had enough, and had taken a personal leave of absence from the club he'd been running so meticulously, never giving himself a chance to breathe until now. He looked tired, slightly run down and with a dusty five-o'clock shadow painted against his chin and cheeks. Drew had driven out towards the country, stopping to park his car in a quaint town and beginning to walk. There wasn't anywhere in particular he cared to go, considering he didn't know at all where he was. He was a city boy for the most part, coming from Austin, and however different the climate, cities always remain similar at their core. Spending this time outside of the city soothed him, no matter how rarely he did this. He started to relax, letting his shoulders slump a little bit and his stride flow more naturally than the structured style he carried himself around his business. Drew meandered into a park, wandering through a wrought-iron gate and into a well-trimmed grassy field. The park wasn't too wide, with a gathering of trees interspersed casually inside the fully enclosed area. Everything was green and the air was crisp, so utterly different from the smog and crowd in California's largest areas.

Drew had been exploring, taking the time to look at the flowers growing beneath his feet, and the trees with their glossy green leaves, so rare away from the countryside. He still didn't know where he was, nor where his car was from him now, but the scenery had diverted his attentions now, and he trekked further. All he felt like doing was sitting and taking it all in, though the single bench in the center of the little park was occupied by a solo woman. He paused and considered the predicament before making his way over and slowly approaching her. His blue eyes were calm and shimmery, such as a flood of clear waters after a storm, and he smiled a slosed-lipped smile before motioning to the unoccupied space beside her. Do you mind...??

[>>[ N A T A S H A ] grey.]

<sup>i've done the damage, the damage is done
i pray to god that i'm the damaged one.


Have you ever experienced a time when you were so full of emotions that you felt the opposite - you felt that you were emotionally drained? Or perhaps you felt one way, but were convinced you should feel another. All familiar symptoms to what occurred in Natasha's heart and mind at this very moment.. feelings of regret and guilt rising up in her chest, but never overcoming her.. she was too strong for that. But she wasn't sad, and that was one of the oddest things of all. Wouldn't you be devastated, if you lost your mother, your husband, and your daughter.. within a matter of weeks? And then again, it wasn't even a matter of devastation.. what Natasha felt was beyond 'sad' or 'devastated'. There were no words to explain it. No way to understand it.

No feelings to truly feel it.

And when it came down to it all, Natasha had to continuously remind herself that each and every person in this entire world would eventually die alone.. perhaps she just had a head start.

Without the dying part, I mean.

Whatever.

It's hard to say exactly what was on Tash's mind at this very moment.. her mind was in overdrive, buzzing with question after question, or things she had to do, things she was anticipating.. trying take her mind off of the past. She knew that dwelling over things such as that wouldn't do her any good.. wouldn't change what was already done. Fate was doing this to her, for a reason. Fate always had a reason, or there wouldn't be a reason for fate.

She was trying to remember where she put her sunglasses, while wondering when in the world Adonis, her step-father, would sign the house over in the fricken papers, and then readying herself for her first day as an intern, while asking herself if she had the money to last her a hotel room for the next week, and then the thought of pawning off her wedding ring occurred to her, which only made her angry at herself for just thinking of it, and then her eyes widened and she sat up with a gasp, thinking aloud.

"He wouldn't mind.. right?"

But she left the matter at that, not really wanting to think about her dead husband, or anything dead for that matter.. which only reminded her to report a pest disturbance in the motel's laundry room, because apparently her neighbor found a dead mouse with his clothes in the washing machine, but he left yesterday, and Natasha didn't want to have the same thing happen to her. And then she wondered if he'd been sure it'd been a mouse, when it could've been a rat, and then she silently asked herself if there was a difference, and then she realized.. jesus christ. Was she thinking too much?

..was that even possible?

Bending down and plucking a small buttercup flower from the grass, Natasha boredly twirled it between her thumb and pointer finger, eyes watching intently, vaguely resembling a pouty child more than anything else.. the thoughts and questions continuing to fill her mind, her head rising back into the clouds until an unfamiliar male voice pulled her back down to earth.

Do you mind..?? The words startled her to the point where she would have jumped, had she not had any form of self control.. looking up to see a male standing before her, his hand motioning to the seat beside her, it honestly took a moment or so for Natasha to fully understand what he was asking for. Eyes darting from the seat, to the male, to the seat again, Tash paused, her mouth hanging open, just trying to get her mind straight for just two seconds.. and finally, she responded. Nodding her head quickly, the woman's face scrunched up slightly, as if she were silently asking herself "what the hell was that?!", and returned her emerald gaze to the man who was waiting for the answer.

"No.. of course." The words escaped her in a breath, a small smile forming upon her lips, hand motioning to the seat as well.. she tried to hide her embarassment, but it wasn't hard to see the slight pink colour rush to her defined cheeks. Convinced that she hadn't been.. well, convincing, she repeated her words, kindly. "Of course."</sup>

[:: Drew Walker ::]

Drew couldn't help but laugh a little at her hesitation and the lift of her chin in the first sign of acknowledgement to his request. His eyes kept their hold on hers, not in a creepy kind of manner, but friendly and calming. He turned and sat down beside her, one leg extended out while the other remained crooked at the knee and planted level on the grass.

He sighed heavily, the crisp blue eyes looking around the area, before turning back onto the woman beside him. She was attractive, but seemed so lost within herself that speaking with her might almost make her crack from the inside out. Drew tried though, debating his words. I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry about that. He shifted his gaze back again to a single leaf falling from a nearby tree, and shifted, propping en elboq up against the back of the bench.

[>>[ N A T A S H A ] grey.]

<sup>As the male resided next to her, Natasha allowed her smile to widen the slightest bit and she turned her head back to what she'd previously been preoccupied doing - twirling the small flower in her fingers. To be truthful, it was a bit odd to have company.. after driving all this way from New York, the only company she'd had for that long journey had been the car, itself.. and then getting to the funeral, and standing in the back, alone. And then there was the motel, where she usually didn't bother to talk to anyone else, unless she really needed to.. there was that whole privacy thing, you know? And anyway, she hated the weird looks people give others when they try to strike up a conversation. It was.. well, uncomfortable in least.

She only hoped she hadn't given this gentleman "the look".

Company would probably do her some good, though. Lately it'd seemed like the world was celebrating a week long "let's hate Natasha" festival, in which everyone.. and I mean everyone, was participating. She needed to get her mind off of everything.. off of that so-called celebration.

Her smile widened as he spoke.

"You didn't scare me.." she replied in a slightly bolder tone, eyebrows raised, shaking her head as she looked over to the male. Though, even she knew that she didn't sound persuasive enough. Actually, she sounded as if she were totally faking it. And so what if she was? What was he going to do about it?

Well, nothing, probably.

"Okay, so, you scared me.. but just a little. Don't be sorry. I'm hyperactive today." Laughing softly, Natasha bounced her shoulders a bit in a playful and joking manner, and then returned her gaze down to her hand.

It was just amazing how quickly the girl could change.</sup>

[:: Drew Walker ::]

He didn't know if he actually expected an answer, seeing as it was just an offhand comment to try and ease her mind. He wasn't planning on conversation, but almost felt drawn to saying something else, realizing then that it would probably sound forced and awkward. It was a very rare occurrance when two strangers could sit down and randomly carry on a conversation for more than a few sentences. His blue eyes trailed over to her hands, being one of the few things moving here in the park, and watched her spin the little yellow flower between her two fingers. Reaching on a diagonal in front of him, Drew plucked a similar violet flower from the green grasses, and handed it over across from him to her with a smile. That one seems to be wearing down.

Drew's eyes travelled over the lawn, and settled on a squirrel scampering up the trunk of a large tree a ways away from them. There were times he wished that it were that simple to get away, to remove yourself from the stress that is naturally dealt into your life. How easy it would be just to scramble up a tree and be forgotten. He wondered what his club was dealing with, and who would truly notice his absense. His staff, surely, as he was normally there helping them out, keeping them in-check. But his customers? Who remembered him, who knew his name? Drew hadn't been special to anyone since he moved from Austin where he'd left behind a girlfriend of three years. They still talked once in awhile here, but had agreed that the permanent move wasn't for her, and he'd left anyways for this adventure. He missed it sometimes, that bond between two people, when you know it's something you can really count on. He hadn't even noticed another woman up until this point, vaguely, and he'd had plenty throwing themselves over him at the club.

Drew clasped his hands in his lap as he settled into his own thoughts. He didn't know what else to say to this woman, aside from his name, which he wasn't sure she cared to know in all actuality. So he sat and zoned out a bit, the slight frown pinching together the middle of his eyebrows in his inner-concentration.

[>>[ N A T A S H A ] grey.]

<sup>Gently taking the violet flower from the stranger, Nan copied what she'd done just moments before.. twirling the blossom inbetween her fingers absentmindedly, as she stared off into space. It was needless to say that having some man you've never met suddenly come and sit beside you.. what was there to do? To say? Back in South Carolina, she would have easily started up a conversation at the drop of a hat.. but things were different now. Things changed. She changed. But nevertheless, she found herself eager to keep the male company as they sat quietly, awkwardly, side by side.

"Natasha Grey," she murmured finally, forcing a smile upon her lips as she looked over at the guest beside her. "Otherwise known as.. Nan, Tash, Nat, You, Shorty, Kid, Doc.. any and all of the above." It might have been a bit odd, for some woman to just randomly state all of the possible names she responded to, but it was just an everyday-thing for Natasha, really. It was as if people were too lazy to just state her entire name.. Natasha. It wasn't that hard, was it? If you were to meet every single person she knew, you'd notice that they never, not once, called her by her actual name. Well, her actual current name. Not her actual name of Yekaterina, otherwise known as Kata.. also known as Elena Athena, or the "Little Fighter", who later became Grace Elisabeth, who mostly went by just 'Gracie'. Actually, she'd become 'Natasha' during the 'Grace Era' - how she described her years under the alias Grace Ryan, with Noah and Abby. Just like how the 'Elena Age' was her life from age four to eighteen/nineteen, but her years in Russia had no name.. she didn't think about them half as much as she did the others. Natasha had bloomed out of Grace Elisabeth, when Grace Elisabeth had been thriving in Egypt.. when she'd been held captive by Gregoire, the dirty son of a bitch who had only assisted her in ruining her entire picture-perfect life. In order to maintain her fragile mentality, it seemed that Grace had almost become this entire other person - or, otherwise known as Natasha. That was what she'd called herself, secretly. While Grace was in Egypt to save her family, Natasha was in Egypt to save herself. Grace lived in the past, and Natasha lived for the future. Grace was burdened with guilt and death - Natasha had no weight on her shoulders. You couldn't decipher them between streotypes, or labels, or feelings or thoughts or anything.. Grace and Natasha just.. were.

Though, Natasha never actually turned out the way that Grace had hoped she would.. when she came to the United States, when she changed her name, the past that Grace and Elena and Yekaterina had known never ceased to haunt her.. it was still there. She'd thought she could cleanse herself from all that had gone wrong, all that had happened, but she couldn't. And now, she was here. Burdened with different identities and more regret than anyone could ever know.

She shook her thoughts away quickly, and turned her attention back to the man beside her, for as long as she could.. it was as if ever since she'd arrived in California, she really couldn't do much but sit and rethink everything, over and over and over again. Like a broken record, really. A broken record filled with criminality and remorse.

Placing the flower in her lap, she held her hand out to shake, though it was the slightest bit odd to her, considering she'd spent the last few years of her life in the South.. in a city where people greeted each other with kisses on the cheek, and welcoming hugs. She wasn't sure if that was how it was in California. In fact, she figured it'd probably cause the man to shake in his boots.

It was probably better to trade that in for an awkward handshake.

"Are you from around here?" The question itself was as lame as ever, but she figured it could serve as a conversation spark.. right? Usually, she could detect the answer through a person's accent.. but she was much better with European accents than American. In fact, she couldn't detect an American accent for shit. All she knew, really, was the drawl of South Carolina - she, herself, had taken to it when she'd first moved there a few years back.. it hadn't left her since, really. It was as if she couldn't shake it, like she had with her 'native' Greek tongue.

But that was only one of the many things she found herself unable to stray from.</sup>